Insanity
by RomaMarufixx
Summary: Story based on one of the themes from my 100 Themes Challenge Merlin, Theme 12 - Insanity. AU. Fem!Merlin, Fem!Merlin/Arthur, Doctor!Arthur
1. Merlin Emrys, Mental Patient

**Title: **Insanity

**Author: **RomaFelton3331

**Rating: **K+

**Pairing: **Fem!Merlin/Arthur

**Summary: **Story based on one of the themes from my 100 Themes Challenge Merlin, Theme 12 - Insanity.

**Word count: **1,845

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, it is all the BBC's

* * *

_"Dr. Arthur Pendragon had been working at his current mental hospital for nearly a year when they had brought in a young girl, no older than eighteen. He had been assigned to her and after a while he son found himself falling into insanity, insane for her love." _

* * *

"Dr. Pendragon!"

Arthur stopped and spun around to face his fellow doctor.

"Gwen, please, it's Arthur." the coffee coloured doctor nodded.

"Yes, Arthur…there's a new patient arriving and I was able to take a peek at their documents and files and apparently you will be their psychiatrist."

Gwen held out the documents to Arthur who took them and idly flipped through the pages.

"Female…18 years old…claimed mentally unhealthy by Dr. U. Pendragon." Arthur sighed, almost every patient his father his father claimed as mentally ill was passed onto him to take care of.

"Thank you Gwen, I will take a better look at the documents in my office." Gwen nodded at Arthur and they made there separate ways.

* * *

Arthur open the file and looked at the first sheet of paper, it was mainly information on the patient.

**Name:** Merlin Emrys

**Preferred Name:** Merlin

**Birthdate: **1 Jan 1994

**Birthplace: **Northern Ireland

**Age: **18

**Height: **6'

**Weight: **87lbs

**Sex: **Female

**Hair: **Dark Brown/Black

**Eyes: **Blue

**Relatives: **Hunith Emrys (Mother)

Balinor Emrys (Father, deceased)

**Marital Status: **Single

**Education: **Primary School in Northern Ireland (1998-2005) Secondary School in England (2005-2010) College in England (2010-2012)

**Notes: **Moved to Southern England when she was 11, shortly after her father died in a car crash. Gained A*'s and A's in GCSE's for Art, Music, Drama, French, English, Maths and Science. She gained further qualifications in College for Art, English Literature and Language as well as Maths, Biology and Physics.

She spent many of her days singing, drawing, painting and playing piano and violin, her parents said that she hardly slept and was unsociable, having no interest of talking to people or being near people unless needed.

Her IQ is 152 making her a genius, her first IQ test was taken in 2001 when she was first brought to our attention, it stood at 145 and has increased 7 points in 11 years and it seems it may continue to increase as last years reading was 151.

Arthur ran his fingers over the small picture in the corner of the page, her face was so pale and thin and her eyes were full of pain, but there was still a smile on her face.

* * *

Arthur flipped over to the next page which was a study of Merlin from 2001, when she was eleven.

* * *

**Date: **March 2005

**Study By: **Dr. U. Pendragon

I met Mrs. Emrys at 10am in the morning and talked to her about Merlin whilst she was at school. Mrs. Emrys told me that Merlin used to pick at her skin and caused a low amount of damage to herself, for an unknown reason (Possible Dermatillomania/PSP/CSP when younger, unknown if the condition carried on as Hunith is unaware) Only recently has Merlin changed, she is suffering from depression as confirmed by **Dr. A. Jones **as well as Bulimia.

* * *

The next was a study, eighteen months after the last.

* * *

**Date: ** September 2006

**Study By: **Dr. U. Pendragon.

Today I first met Merlin, she was a happy young girl but she was very thin, the last time I was hear I asked Hunith what Merlin's weight was and was told it was 131lbs but now it has decreased by 29lbs in the past eighteen months. It is an unhealthy weight for someone of her age and height or at least it will be if it increases at this rate.

She still has bulimia and is heading in the direction on anorexia. For someone who was been diagnosed with depression she is very happy and very smart her IQ is 146, making her a genius.

She now suffers from night terrors, at least three times a week Hunith is awoken by her screams and has to calm her down. Her most common night terrors occur between 1 and 4am.

She has been subscribed medicine to help with the night terrors and is seeing a councilor about her bulimia.

**Extra Notes: **I received a letter in November from **Dr. Melissa Moon, **Merlin's councilor asking if I would visit Merlin as she worried that Merlin might have Body Dysmorphic Disorder, it was later confirmed that she did have this by myself and **Dr. H. Adrian. **

* * *

Arthur was already feeling sorry for this girl, it was more than likely that she was suffering from all this because of her fathers death.

* * *

**Date: **March 2008

**Study By: **Dr. U. Pendragon.

Today was the second time I met with Merlin and she was thinner and smarter than before. Her weight is now at 99lbs, although having only lost 3lbs she looks although she has lost much more. Her IQ has risen by a single point, making it now 147.

Her bulimia and Body Dysmorphic Disorder are still there but anorexia is further away as her recent weight loss is low.

Her night terrors are more frequent.

No need for return for twenty-six months.

* * *

He flipped to the next page.

* * *

**Date: **April 2009

**Study By: **Dr. U. Pendragon.

I was called in early as Mrs. Emrys was worried her daughter was self harming as cuts and bruise had appeared on her arms and legs and she had found her daughter passed out in the bath a few days prior, a large cut on her leg gashing out blood, slowed slightly by the water, but was still enough the make her pass out.

Her injuries were observed by her local doctor and was given stitches and healing ointment for the minor cuts.

I talked to her and she admitted to self harming and when asked why she gave the following response:

_See Tape 1, Side 1_

* * *

Arthur flipped to the back of the file, making sure not to lose the page he was on. He found a plastic divider where there were several tapes, he picked up the first tape before moving across the room to the tape recorder.

Once everything was set up he pressed the play button. His father spoke first.

_"Why did you self-harm?"_

_"I hate my body." _

The voice was soft and a little bit shy, but overall a lovely voice and had a melodic ring to it.

_"And why is that?"_

_"I'm fat and pale, my body needs to be thinner and has to have more colour to it, I'm ugly, as I've been told."_

_"Told by who?" _

Sobs could be heard but her words were still audible.

_"People in my school, mainly boys – they make fun of my body, some call me fat, others call me a stick, I'm too pale, my hair is too short and boy like, I'm too tall and lanky and flat chested…I have big ears, big feet…all I want to do is cut them off! Why can't I just be normal!"_

The tape stopped there and Arthur breathed in a deep breath. Bullies, of course they would pick on the most vulnerable of people.

He walked over to his desk and continue reading the report, straight after where it told him to listen to the tape.

Merlin asked for the tape to be turned off and so I did. I confirmed then that she now had anorexia and her frequent night terrors and new insomnia lead me to believe that she could possibly be suffering from Sundowning.

Next page.

* * *

**Date: **May 2010

**Study By: **Dr. U. Pendragon.

_See Tape 1, Side 2._

Arthur took the tape out of the player, turned it over and put it back in before pressing the play button. His father spoke first, again.

_"How much weight have you lost since my last visit."_

_"I've lost 5lbs Doctor."_

_"And are you pleased by this?"_

_"No, disappointed actually I was hoping to lose more."_

_"So you are still unhappy by your physical appearance?"_

_"Yes doctor." _

The tape ended there and on the same page were some brief notes, saying her IQ had increase, still bulimia, anorexia, thoughts on Sundowning even higher.

* * *

**Date: **May 2011

**Study By: **Dr. U. Pendragon.

Numerous tapes have been recorded for previous sessions, see them if you need or want to.

During this month I have had numerous talks with other doctors and we have all decided to claim Merlin as mentally ill, she will be taken into the Pendragon Mental Hospital in January the following year.

* * *

There were no further pieces of papers apart from some that concerned the kitchen staff and other members of the hospital.

He closed the file, deciding to wait another day to listen to the tapes, he wanted to meet the girl first.

It wasn't actually until two weeks later that the patient arrived and was placed in her room in the west wing of the hospital.

The hospital it's self was an old castle that had been re-done and decorated so it was much more modern, on the inside, the outside remained the same apart from a little touch up.

* * *

The next day Arthur was to meet with the girl, begin his study on her and hopefully helped her back to sanity. Out of politeness he knocked on the door before entering and when he walked in she was huddled at one side of the bed wearing the clothes that were given to every member of the hospital. Loose wight trousers, a loose but fitted button up top with long sleeves both made from a very soft cotton. A vest top was worn under the other top and for shoes they were given a type of flat white shoes, almost like nurse's.

Her black hair was slightly above shoulder length, he noticed as she glanced up and her eyes were much bluer and brighter than they had been in the photo.

"Good Morning Merlin."

She smiled at his chatty tone and he was glad he first spoke that way instead of using formality.

"Good Morning Dr…?"

"Pendragon."

"Is the other Dr. Pendragon your father?"

"Indeed he is."

Arthur sat down on a plastic chair on one side of the room, the opposite to where Merlin's bed was.

"I don't like Dr. Pendragon, the other one, not you." To him, Merlin sounded much younger than her eighteen years, maybe this was because of her mental health.

"And why is that?"

The girl shrugged.

"He's…threatening just the way he is…and ugly." Arthur laughed and this caused Merlin to smiled.

"Oh really? Well I hope you don't find me the same…I'm afraid I'll have to get down to business, today I shall ask you some questions about family life, yourself and if we have enough time, about your illnesses." Merlin nodded. "And then we will go onto a scheme that the hospital uses that will hopefully reinstall some if not all of your mental health."

Another nod.

"Are you ready to begin?

* * *

**Authors Notes:**

Idea from as the summary says my 100 Themes Challenge Merlin, Number 12. Left on a slight cliffhanger, was intended to be a one-shot but it went on and on, so it shall become a multi-chapter fic!


	2. Knowing The Patient

**Title: **Insanity

**Author: **RomaFelton3331

**Rating: **K+

**Pairing: **Fem!Merlin/Arthur

**Summary: **Story based on one of the themes from my 100 Themes Challenge Merlin, Theme 12 - Insanity.

**Word count: **1,645

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, it is all the BBC's

* * *

_"Dr. Arthur Pendragon had been working at his current mental hospital for nearly a year when they had brought in a young girl, no older than eighteen. He had been assigned to her and after a while he son found himself falling into insanity, insane for her love." _

* * *

**Part Two;**

"What is your current occupation?" Arthur spoke, a smile on his lips, hoping to relax Merlin as she had begun to stiffen on her place on the bed.

"Unemployed, I did plan to go to University after leaving College…but I was brought here….I also think that I could not cope…." Merlin brought her knees up and lent her chin on them, her head titled slightly so she could look at Dr. Pendragon.

"Can you describe to me, your parents, Hunith and…" He paused for a second realising that her father may be a touchy subject as his own father had pin pointed it as being the starting point of her depression which spiraled into her current mental state. "Balinor."

Merlin turned her head away from Arthur when he mentioned her fathers name. Her voice was quiet but she did respond and Arthur did here.

"My mother is a kind woman, always doing everything for me…even the things I can do myself. She was born in 1962, in Southern England to a lawyer my grandfather…George Morgan and his wife who was unemployed for most of her life, Rose Morgan, my grandparents were both quite old when my mother was born my grandmother was thirty-seven and I believe my grandfather was forty-one but they had been married for fifteen years before…my mother was an accident but her parents never treated her as so, they treasured her, my mother had a brother…Gaius, he was born eleven years before my mother, he was planned." She paused. "My grandmother, Rose, died in 1984, 10 years before I was born and my grandfather died in 1992."

Arthur nodded, scribbling notes down in his notepad. "And your Father…Balinor?"

"My father was everything to me, he used to take my camping and fishing, always kept me safe and used to teach me so much of and about the world. He was older than my mum, he was born in 1959 in Ireland, my parents moved their shortly after they married. My father's parents were Jasper Emrys, who was twenty-four when he was born and his mother Veronica was twenty-one. He didn't have any siblings. My Granddad died last year and my Gran is still alive, she's 74." she stopped suddenly and Arthur glanced up, wondering why she had stopped.

"When did your parents first meet?" Arthur said, after a few minutes of silence. Merlin blinked and looked up at him.

"They met in 1989, when my mother was 27 and my father was 30….my mums car had broken down and my father saw her and helped her out…ending up driving her home…they kept in contact." Merlin said, her face emotionless.

"And…?" Arthur edged her on. She glanced up at him before back down.

"They began dating shortly after and in 1991 my dad proposed, she said yes and then a year later they married and then two years after they married I came along." Merlin smiled and Arthur was glad to see her show some sort of emotion.

"So you are an only child?" Arthur asked, noting beforehand that Merlin had said nothing about any siblings.

"No…" she paused and Arthur wondered if asking that question had been a good idea. "My parents wanted more, but after my birth something became wrong with my mother's womb…they had to remove it."

Arthur figured that was enough on family life, at least for the moment anyway.

"You said that you wouldn't be able to cope with University…why would that be?" Arthur questioned.

"I've always been picked on, how I look, namely my hair, ears and my lankey person, how I act, how I speak, what books I read, what music I listen to, the list goes on…."

"I know that people can be shallow, I myself was a victim of bullying when I was younger."

"Really?" Merlin asked with wide eyes, obviously not believing what Arthur had said and he laughed.

"Yes, I was quite chubby when I was younger and was made fun of because of that, but once I started Secondary School I became more involved in after school activities, became part of the school's football team and eventually became it's captain, I lost weight through doing that and gained popularity and eventually the bullying stopped." Arthur stopped for a moment realised he had spoken a lot and it was meant to be Merlin he was learning about not her learning from him.

"Did you have any friends…do you still?" Arthur asked, trying to change the direction of speech.

"I have a friend called Will…he is the same age as me and we've been friends since we were nine and he stopped some boys bullying me because of my ears." she touched her ears for a moment and then placed her hand back on her knees. "We began friends almost instantly and got along very well and then when I was twelve, half way through year 7 a new girl came to my school…Freya, she became my friend." Merlin answered.

"Are they still your friends?" Arthur asked, scribbling shorthand onto the notepad.

"Freya moved to Cambridge to go to university, and Will doesn't want to talk to me anymore…." she said sadly.

"And why is that?" Arthur asked.

"Well…at first when I self harmed I kept it a secret, I didn't want people to know or to give them another reason to pick on me. I always wore long sleeves to cover up my cuts, scratches and scars." She pulled the sleeves of her top down lower so they covered her hands. "Will saw them one day by accident and he started yelling at me…and called me names, I burst into tears and he walked away…" her voice quivered.

"What did he say…or do after this argument?" Arthur asked.

"He said he wanted nothing to do with me and ignored me and eventually joined in with the boys who bullied me. Although it wasn't just the boys who bullied me…of course." Merlin answered.

"Will was a male friend…did you ever have any romantic feelings towards him, even just a little crush?" Arthur asked, having to get every relationship detail done.

"I had a small crush on him when we were kids…later turned a bit more serious and we started dating in year eight but broke up in year ten…"

"Why did you break up?" Arthur asked.

"That was shortly after the argument we had…" Merlin admitted.

"Did this relationship lead to anything?"

"What do you mean, Dr. Pendragon?" Merlin asked innocently, batting her eyelashes slightly.

"Sex." Arthur stated simply and Merlin blushed, she hadn't expected him to be so straight forward.

"No I'm a Virgin." Merlin retorted just as blunt as he had been and chuckled slightly as she noticed his cheeks pinking.

"I don't think you are though Doctor." he looked up at her.

"Really?"

"Really, are you?" Merlin asked.

"Its really none of your business…Merlin." Arthur said, trying to avoid answering her question.

Merlin huffed and lied down on her bed, turning away from Arthur so he could only see her back.

"Merlin?" he questioned.

"I'm not going to talk to you or answer your questions if you aren't going to do the same!" Arthur sighed and realised he had to give in.

"Fine I'm not, haven't been since I was sixteen."

Merlin turned around so she was lying on her other side.

"And how long ago was that?"

"Seven years ago. Im no longer with the person I was with at that time."

"You have a girlfriend?" Arthur nodded and Merlin was slightly sad, but didn't show it. A yawn took her by surprise and she covered her mouth.

"You should get some rest, you've had a long day." Arthur said, standing up from his chair. Merlin nodded and closed her eyes.

"Goodnight."

"Night."

Arthur walked out of her room, making sure the door was locked. He began walking down the corridor, and looked at his watch. 7:57pm. He had been in there for quite a while, and he thought today had gone successfully but quite embarrassing towards the end. He just hoped tomorrow would be just as good.

* * *

Merlin walked over to the small table near the chair that Arthur had sat on to talk to her. She ran her hands along the table edges and noted they were smooth and all sharp edges had been sanded down, most probably for safety. She picked up the leaflet which was in the middle of the table, she noted also the edges of the paper were not sharp enough to give you a paper cut, which made her very curious…how can paper not give you paper cuts?

She opened it to the first page, seeing it was a welcome page she flipped to the next and on this page it held a schedule for each day of the week:

**Monday-Saturday**

6:30am – All patients wake up.

7:00-8:00am – Breakfast is served in the dining hall.

9:00am Talk with your assigned Doctor.

**Merlin Emrys; Assigned Dr. A. Pendragon. **

12:00-1:00pm Lunch served in the dining hall.

2:00-3:00pm Gym.

4:00-6:00pm Free Time.

6:00-7:00pm Dinner served in the dining hall.

8:00-9:00pm Talk with your assigned Doctor.

9:00-10:00pm Free Time.

10:00-11:00pm Patients must bathe.

11:00pm Lights out.

**Sunday**

8:30am – All patients wake up.

9:00-10:00am – Breakfast is served in the dining hall.

10:00am Talk with your assigned Doctor.

**Merlin Emrys; Assigned Dr. A. Pendragon. **

1:00-2:00pm Lunch served in the dining hall.

3:00-6:00pm Free Time.

6:00-7:00pm Dinner served in the dining hall.

8:00-9:00pm Talk with your assigned Doctor.

9:00-10:00pm Free Time.

10:00-11:00pm Patients must bathe.

11:00pm Lights out.

Merlin flicked through the next few pages, skim reading what they said and then stopped as she saw a page that including pictures, one of which was of Arthur. She ran her long thin fingers across the small coloured picture and smiled. She was actually looking forward to tomorrow.

* * *

**Authors Notes: **

Hello everyone, I'm Zay, Roma's girlfriend and the person whom she is currently writing this story with. I really hope you are enjoying it and think it is interesting and that there is plenty to read (:

_RomaFelton3331 - _This chapter also came out of some previous experiences…with my 'friends' and self harming. Hmm, I always pick on Will… :)

**Reviews: **

_MerthurFanNumber1: _Yay! I'm glad that you do!

_Sherlockedholmes: _Thank you so very much! It is very sad that things like this actually exist, I agree. Thank you, again although most of the credit must go to my girlfriend for pushing me to do this story! Im glad you find it so good and don't worry I do plan on completing this…although it might take a while!

_writergirl142: _Thank you, I'm glad!

_Corey YoungBlood: _Thank you and I will update as fast as I can!

_Journey Hates: _I'll update as quick at possible, and sure I don't mind :)


	3. Dreams

**Title: **Insanity

**Author: **RomaFelton3331

**Rating: **K+

**Pairing: **Fem!Merlin/Arthur

**Summary: **Story based on one of the themes from my 100 Themes Challenge Merlin, Theme 12 - Insanity.

**Word count: **1,683

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, it is all the BBC's

_"Dr. Arthur Pendragon had been working at his current mental hospital for nearly a year when they had brought in a young girl, no older than eighteen. He had been assigned to her and after a while he soon found himself falling into insanity, insane for her love." _

* * *

**Part Three;**

Monday 2nd July it read on her calendar just above the foot end of her bed and the clock next to it said 5:49am, it was digital, why Merlin did not know. She also didn't know what she was doing up so early, it would still be a while until the morning bell rang but she couldn't return to her slumber.

She turned to her side, so that she could look around her fairly large room, larger than her room at home. Merlin had thought several of times over the night why, now, her mother had agreed to sending her to this mental home or hospital as the people here preferred to call it. Maybe her mother saw it as a chance at a better life…a healthier one?

Merlin had always lived a poor life, they had a small house, just enough food. After her mother had become ill after having her they used most of their money paying for her treatment. With Hunith not returning to work they replaced her and wouldn't allow her the job back when she recovered meaning Balinor's job was the only source of income for their family.

When Balinor was killed, their source of income was gone and they had to live of benefits, which her mother hated. Her mother hated using other peoples money but she wouldn't let Merlin starve.

Here Merlin had a soft bed to sleep in, a large room to live in, people to watch over her to make sure she was fine and that she didn't harm herself, three fulfilling meals a day, regular exercise to also keep her healthy, doctors around her to treat her when she becomes ill and people to talk to. It seemed like the perfect life…but Merlin wanted to go back home to her mother, if she was in here how often would she get to see her mother?

One good thing came out of being here though, Arthur. He was her assigned doctor which meant she got to see him every single day, every single week, every single month, although she guessed he may have some days off but still, she would spend a lot of time with him.

The morning bell went off, startling Merlin slightly. She hopped out of bed and walked over to the tall white wardrobe holding equally white clothing and white nurses shoes at the bottom. She picked out her clothing and undressed out of her sleeping clothes and dressed into her day clothing.

Not long after a buzzing noise was emitted from her door and it gently swung open to show a hallway as white as her room was. People came from their rooms and all moved down one the hallway and Merlin followed, having little idea where she was going. There was a map in the leaflet in her room but she hadn't bothered to look at it.

They entered a huge room with two floors full of six person tables, it was the food room, to the left was the plates, cutlery and food. Merlin walked over with the other patients to line up for her breakfast.

As she collected her plate and cutlery she noted they too were also blunt…how was she meant to cut up her food? Did they actually want her to starve herself? Her answer came when she reached the food, every bit of food was cut into a smaller piece, so that cutting up food was no required…why did they even need a knife then? Merlin was confused, but hungry so she picked out her food and sat down at the table furthest away, on her own. She had just began to eat her food a voice spoke to her.

"Can I sit with you?"

Merlin glanced up to see a dark haired girl looking down at her.

"Um, yes, sure." Merlin smiled.

The girl placed her food tray down and then sat opposite Merlin.

"I'm Merlin, and you are?" Merlin said stretching out her arm.

"Freya." the girl said shaking Merlin's hand.

"How long have you been a patient here Merlin?" Freya asked.

"Just since yesterday, how about you?"

"Three weeks." Freya answered.

"Who's your doctor?" Merlin asked curiously.

"Dr. Pendragon." Freya stated simply, tucking into her fried breakfast. _Dr. Pendragon? Arthur? How many patients did he have? Were they all women? _

"Arthur?" She asked Freya.

"No, Morgana." Freya said and then tucked back into her breakfast. _Morgana Pendragon? Had Arthur been lying, was he actually married instead of just having a girlfriend?_ Merlin's thoughts were going wild.

"Morgana Pendragon?" Merlin questioned.

"She's Uther Pendragon's daughter, and Arthur Pendragon's sister, there whole family works here except of course the mother." Freya explained.

"What happened to their mother?"

"Arthur's mother died shortly after Arthur was born and nobody knows who Morgana's mother is."

"Morgana and Arthur are half siblings?" Merlin asked.

"Yes." Freya replied. Merlin was relieved, siblings, not married, but still did Arthur have a girlfriend or did he have to say that? I doubt doctors were allowed relationships with their patients.

Around ten minutes later Freya had finished her breakfast but Merlin hadn't even touched her she was just staring out into space, that was until she spotted a certain blonde hair man walking in her direction. She straightened up and picked up her. She looked at her plate but nothing on it look appetising.

"I hope you are going to eat something." Arthur said from next to Merlin.

"I…I don't like any of this food…" Merlin said.

Arthur glanced at the plate of bacon and eggs.

"You don't like any of this food." Arthur repeated.

"Well, its not that I don't like it…its just…I cant eat it…" Merlin said quietly.

"And why cant you eat it?" Arthur said, only believing that she was trying to starve herself.

"I'm a vegan….and I am lactose intolerant…I cant eat meat and I definitely cant eat dairy products unless you want me to be sick for the next few days."

There hadn't been anything about this in Merlin's file, but if he forced her to eat and she was ill he would be in great trouble with both his father and the company.

"Fine, would you like me to get you some cereal without milk, or some toast?"

"Toast please, with jam, strawberry if they have it." Merlin said.

"Of course, if you will eat it." Arthur answered.

* * *

Later Merlin was sat on her bed and Arthur in his chair with his notebook in his lap and the pen resting on it.

"Merlin today, I am going to talk to you and ask you questions about your dreams."

"My dreams?" Merlin asked curiously.

"Yes, a dream can tell a lot about a person, now I'm going to give you a list of the most common dreams and I want you to put a cross in the box next to them if you have had them at any part in your life."

He passed Merlin his clipboard and the top sheet was the list of dreams, her eyes scanned the page quickly before she took the pen Arthur was holding out.

**List of Most Common Dreams**

**Put a cross in the box next to any dream that has occurred to you.**

Car Troubles – []

Faulty Machinery – []

Lost or Trapped – []

Missed a Boat or plane – []

Failing a test – []

Ill or dying – []

Being Chased – []

Bad or missing teeth – []

Falling or Sinking – []

Being Naked – []

Merlin recalled on all her early memories and realised she had been having most of these dreams since a young age.

**List of Most Common Dreams**

**Put a cross in the box next to any dream that has occurred to you.**

Car Troubles – []

Faulty Machinery – [x]

Lost or Trapped – [x]

Missed a Boat or plane – []

Failing a test – []

Ill or dying – [x]

Being Chased – [x]

Bad or missing teeth – [x]

Falling or Sinking – [x]

Being Naked – [x]

She passed the pen and the clipboard back to Arthur and waited a few minutes as he looked it over, a few minutes he nodded and looked back up smiling at Merlin.

"You don't have to be so nervous Merlin." he said, noticing how wide her eyes had become and how her hands were so active and scratching at her wrists every now and then.

"What do they mean?"

"Your dreams?"

"Yes."

"Well a number of different things, but we only use your most recent dreams, dreams that happen whilst you are here." Arthur walked over to Merlin's dresser and in one of the drawers was a tick blue journal or diary he took out and handed to Merlin.

"Every morning, write in this book as much of your dream as you remember, also if you wake from a nightmare right what that was about, they can be more useful than normal dreams."

Merlin nodded and took the book from his hands.

"Thank you." she whispered, running her thumbs over the diary.

"You're welcome, now I have to-"

"You have a sister." Merlin randomly stated not wanting Arthur to leave.

"Um, yes…I do."

"Morgana, she's a nurse here."

"Yes, how did you?...Freya, Morgana's patient." Merlin nodded.

"How many patients do you have Arthur?"

"I have three patients at the moment Merlin, one is you and two are men who are pyromaniacs, we are not aloud more than three patients as there is not enough time in the day, now as I said I have to leave, so that I can see my other patients."

"Of course." Merlin said and smiled at Arthur.

"I will see you tomorrow Merlin." Merlin nodded.

"Goodbye Arthur."

As soon as Arthur left and the door made the buzzing noise which meant it had locked, Merlin flopped onto her bed groaning. She had been hoping to keep him a little longer she wanted to know more about him…and about his girlfriend.

Even though she still had a while until she had to sleep she decided to sleep now and plan on what to ask Arthur when she saw him tomorrow.

* * *

**Authors Notes:**

Here is the next chapter, I was going to write longer, but I guess I will do that for next chapter so that might be up in a week or so.

_Zay: _I will make sure that she writes ;)

Reviews:

_Sherlockedholmes: _Thank you from us both! It warms our hearts knowing you think so highly of our story, like I said in the authors notes in the previous chapter some parts are based on real life happenings. I like challenging themes and this was one and with Zay's help this story was born, with help from the themes challenge. And you'll have to wait and find out about Arthur ;) – Zay and Roma, xx

_MerlinFamNumber1: _Thank you and yes well its an awkward subject to talk about if you hardly know the other person. And my girlfriend is amazing and I know, its short for Zay-Dee. Thank you once again! x

_writergirl142: _Thanks.


	4. Claustrophobic

**Title: **Insanity

**Author: **RomaFelton3331

**Rating: **K+

**Pairing: **Fem!Merlin/Arthur

**Summary: **Story based on one of the themes from my 100 Themes Challenge Merlin, Theme 12 - Insanity.

**Word count: **1,471

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, it is all the BBC's

* * *

_"Dr. Arthur Pendragon had been working at his current mental hospital for nearly a year when they had brought in a young girl, no older than eighteen. He had been assigned to her and after a while he soon found himself falling into insanity, insane for her love." _

* * *

**Part Four;**

Merlin had been given a vegetarian breakfast the next morning which was pleasant but she wouldn't have eaten it if she had something else to eat. On her way back to her room she nearly collided with a female doctor when she turned a corner.

"Oh, sorry!" Merlin said.

"That's okay, my fault, wasn't watching were I was going" The dark haired doctor said.

"No, my fault I space out a lot." Merlin said truthfully. "Merlin." she introduced herself.

"Morgana." Morgana said shaking Merlin's outstretched hand.

"Morgana? Morgana Pendragon?" Merlin asked.

"…Yes?"

"Arthur's sister?" Merlin asked.

"Yes, how do you –"

"Arthur is my assigned doctor." Merlin said.

"Oh, I bet hes just a bundle of fun to have as a doctor." Morgana said and the two laughed. "It was nice to meet you Merlin, I hope to see you again around."

"I'm sure you will, its not like I'm going anywhere in the near future." Merlin responded.

"I don't know, Arthur might be an ass but he is a very good doctor."

Merlin nodded almost shyly and walked back to her room.

* * *

Around midmorning the buzz that informed you that the door was opened or closed sounded out and Merlin sat up on the bed, watching as Arthur walked into the room.

"Good morning."

"Morning."

"Can I have your dream journal?" Arthur asked, sitting down on the chair on the other side of the room. Merlin nodded and reached underneath her pillow and pulled out the journal and handed it to Arthur. He opened it to the first page, last night's dreams and read it aloud.

"I sat in a cage, trapped, I tugged at the bars but I couldn't get out, I was getting hotter and hotter before I burst….do you have claustrophobia?"

"What?"

"Claustrophobia, the fear of closed in spaces, by the sounds of this dream you could be."

"How would I know?"

"We could do a test, which would prove harmless if you are not, but if you are it could send you into a panic attack…it's your choice though."

"What would I have to do though?" Merlin asked.

"We would close you into a small room for a matter of minutes, no windows, one door, sealed room, we just need to see your reaction there will be a small camera that you will not be able to see."

"That sounds okay, when should we do it?"

"Can we do it now?"

"Great, let's go."

* * *

Merlin stood in front of the door that lead into the 'claustrophobia' room.

"You'll need to sign this form." Arthur said, handing her a clipboard with a consent form on it.

"Why?" Merlin question.

"Its to say you agreed to this, otherwise it would seem as though we forced you and if something bad happens, there will be a police investigation etc. so we need your written and spoken consent." Arthur explained.

Merlin signed the consent form and handed the clipboard back to Arthur. A doctor sat at a desk with several camera's which showed the inside of the room. He turned around and handed a tape to Arthur who put it in a recorder and looked back up at Merlin.

"Spoken consent all you have to say is 'I, Merlin Emrys, Patient of Dr. A Pendragon, give my full consent to using the claustrophobia room'." Arthur explained, pressing play on the recorder.

"I, Merlin Emrys, Patient of Dr. A Pendragon, give my full consent to using the claustrophobia room." She repeated what Arthur had said and at the end he pressed stop on the recorder and handing the tape over to the other doctor at the cameras.

"Oh, Merlin by the way this is Dr. Hopper." He said pointing towards the muscled doctor.

"Hi." she said quietly and waved slightly, Dr. Hopper return the wave with a smile.

"Okay Merlin, the cameras are all set up…when your ready." Arthur said, opening the door and gesturing inwards.

Merlin walked slowly next to Arthur and looked inside the room and then slowly stopped inside, jumping slightly as Arthur closed the door behind her.

She walked into the middle of the room and just stood there observing the room, she could have sworn the room was shrinking. Those thoughts only brought back her dream last night. The room was getting smaller and smaller and Merlin's breath became short and quick. Her face turned bright red and she felt like she was burning. She turn around several times looking for the door, it seemed like it had disappeared.

Her heart started beating faster and she had a sickly feeling at the bottom of her stomach and tears welled up in her eyes. What was wrong with her? It was just a room! The tears poured down her face and she screamed.

Not a few seconds after she had screamed the door opened and Arthur had rushed in, holding Merlin's shoulders.

"Merlin?" he asked. Her head spun slightly and she turned around to face Arthur and then buried her face into his neck, crying. He comforted her by stroking her hair and whispering in her ear.

"Its okay Merlin, you're safe, please, stop crying."

She continued to cry, eventually calming her cries turning to small sniffles but she didn't pull away from him only titled her head so she could look back up at his face.

Blue met blue and Merlin felt warm all of a sudden, like the past few minutes had never happened. It almost seemed as if the space between Merlin and Arthur's faces was getting smaller and then all of a sudden Arthur pushed her away as if she had burned him.

A different feeling flooded her, one she had felt many a time before. Arthur had turned to face the door where Dr. Hopper was stood. Merlin looked up at Dr. Hopper before looking towards the dull white floor of the claustrophobia room. She could here them speaking in low tones.

"She definitely has claustrophobia, no doubt about that, if you continue to monitor her dreams we could find out the reason she has it and perhaps a cure for it." Dr. Hopper said and Arthur nodded, his expression blank.

"Just one more thing to add to the list really, isn't it?" Arthur said lowly, and Merlin looked up at him, hurt. His was meant to look after his patient and he was clearly insulting her even knowing she was within earshot.

"If you can't handle the list maybe you should get me reassigned to a new doctor." Merlin called over to Arthur who turned around and glared at her.

"I'm fully capable _Mer_lin." he turned back to Dr. Hopper. "Could you take her back to her rooms, I have to see my father." Before Dr. Hopper could answer Arthur was gone.

"Well I guess I should take you back to your rooms." Merlin smiled and walked out of the room with Dr. Hopper by her side.

"So do you and Arthur know each other well?" Merlin said after Dr. Hopper had closed and locked the door that lead to the room before the claustrophobia room.

"Yes, we trained together, I've known him for 5 years."

"Wow that's a long time." Merlin said amazed, her herself had never had a friend that had stuck around for so long.

"Yes, it is." Dr. Hopper nodded and pointed down the hallway and Merlin started walking with him.

"What's your name? If you don't mind me asking…"

"Not at all, it's Percival." she looked up at the tall man and smiled.

"That's a nice name."

"Thank you." he replied just as they came to a stand outside of her room. "Well here we are, I hope to see you around sometime Merlin."

"Same, Percival, thank you." She stepped inside the room and a few seconds later the door closed with its accompanying noise.

Her shoulders slumped and she let out a long sigh and threw herself down onto her bed. Why had Arthur suddenly acted all cold towards her after they had nearly kissed? Maybe it was because of his girlfriend, he didn't want to cheat on her or anything. But Merlin still wasn't 100% believing the whole girlfriend thing.

She rolled over onto her side and closed her eyes only to be sighted with visions of her and Arthur's nearly kiss. She sighed, all she would dream about tonight would be Arthur and she couldn't put that in her dream journal! She chuckled to herself before allowing the dreams to begin.

* * *

**Authors Notes:**

Its an update! :O Enjoy!

Reviews:

_Merthurfan1: _Thanks, and Arthurs point of view?

_saroura92: _No, it isn't and I will explain that better in another chapter :)

_XxMerlingirlxx: _Thank you! I'll update as soon as I can!

_Lady Blade WarAngel: _Thank you! Im glad you like this story!


	5. The Key

**Title: **Insanity

**Author: **RomaFelton3331

**Rating: **K+

**Pairing: **Fem!Merlin/Arthur

**Summary: **Story based on one of the themes from my 100 Themes Challenge Merlin, Theme 12 - Insanity.

**Word count: **588

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, it is all the BBC's

* * *

_"Dr. Arthur Pendragon had been working at his current mental hospital for nearly a year when they had brought in a young girl, no older than eighteen. He had been assigned to her and after a while he soon found himself falling into insanity, insane for her love." _

* * *

**Part Five;**

"Merlin?" Merlin's eyes snapped open at the sound of her name and looked up to see Dr. Morgana Pendragon looking down at her.

"Morgana?"

"Good morning, Merlin, have a nice sleep?"

"Yes...I did thank you." Merlin said slowly as she sat up. Morgana walked over to the desk on the other side of the room and picked up the chair to bring it over to Merlin's bedside where she sat down.

"Morgana...what are you doing here?" Merlin asked confused.

"I'm here to read through your dream diary and talk to you about your dreams and problems."

"Isn't that Arthur's job as my doctor?"

"Arthur isn't your doctor any more Merlin."

"What?" Merlin asked frowning.

"He resigned you to me."

"I don't know, he didn't want to talk about it, anyway can I see your dream journal?" Morgana asked with her hand out.

"Oh, sure." Merlin said and reached under her pillow to retrieve it.

"Morgana?" Merlin asked as Morgana took the journal from her.

"Yes, Merlin?"

"Arthur has a girlfriend, right?"

"Yes he does, why?"

"Just curious...what is her name?"

"Her name is Sophia."

"Anyone interesting." Morgana stopped reading the journal and began laughing, confusing Merlin. "Morgana, are you okay?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. No, Sophia is a bitch and a gold digger."

"What!? Why is he still with her then?"

"Because he is blind and in love, trust me I have talked to him many a time about this, although I also think he doing this because of our father."

"What about your father?"

"Since our family first came to England, over a thousand years ago, we have always had money and have married into families that have had money, whether or not we like the person, it is just done to make our families happy and that is what I believe Arthur is doing."

"Have you told him this?"

"No, I've been meaning to, he just avoids the subject all the time."

"That's annoying."

"Tell me about it, any way, since when are you interested in my brother's love life?"

"I dunno, I-"

"Oh my god, you're in love with my brother."

"What, no! Morgana, what?"

"I can't believe you're in love with my brother, my brother! My brother, Arthur Pendragon!"

"Morgana, be quiet!" Merlin shouted.

"Merlin, are you or are you not in love with my brother." Merlin was silent and looked down at her feet.

"Yes."

"Awwww." Morgana said and Merlin glared up at her.

"Shut up!"

"I'm sorry, it is just so cute."

"Yeah, well, it is not like anything is going to happen about it, he obviously hates me, he doesn't even want to be my doctor any more!" Merlin exclaimed.

"I'm sure everything will be okay Merlin." Morgana patted her shoulder and stood up, putting the chair back to the desk. "I'll take the dream journal with me and take some notes, I'm sure you'd like to be alone for a while, I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Goodbye Morgana." Merlin said as her friend and new doctor walked out of the room and locked the door behind her.

Merlin got up and walked over to the wardrobe that was next to the desk, so she could changed out of her bed clothes and into some fresh clothes. When Merlin was about to open the wardrobe she noticed something silver and shiny on the desk. She walked closer to the desk and saw that it was a key. A key to her room.

Morgana had left her the key to her room...


	6. Escape

**Title: **Insanity

**Author: **RomaFelton3331

**Rating: **K+

**Pairing: **Fem!Merlin/Arthur

**Summary: **Story based on one of the themes from my 100 Themes Challenge Merlin, Theme 12 - Insanity.

**Word count: **772

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, it is all the BBC's

* * *

_"Dr. Arthur Pendragon had been working at his current mental hospital for nearly a year when they had brought in a young girl, no older than eighteen. He had been assigned to her and after a while he soon found himself falling into insanity, insane for her love." _

* * *

**Part Six;**

It was midnight and Merlin had waited until she could no longer hear footsteps outside of her room. Once there had been no footsteps for half an hour she decided it was time. She took a warm jumper, coat and fluffy boots from her wardrobe which had been put there for winter clothing.

She picked up the key from under her pillow and walked over to the door, quietly opening the door and closing it behind her.

From all the times she had been out of her room, she had only been to the eating hall, so she didn't really know where to go. She decided to go to the eating hall and then see if there was a way to get out of the hospital from there.

As she heard footsteps echo along the corridor she hid behind a wall, and not long after a security guard past by and walked into the eating hall. Merlin breathed out deeply, glad that the guard had not seen her, but now she was worried about going to the eating hall as the guard was in there.

She took another deep breathe as she opened the door to the eating hall, slipping in and then silently closing the door behind her. She scanned the dark eating hall, not seeing the security guard any where in sight.

She ran as fast and as quietly as she could over to the other side of the eating hall where she had spotted another door. She turned back around making sure that no one was in the eating hall watching her. When she was satisfied that no one was there she slipped through the door.

The door took her into a corridor almost identical to the one on the other side of the eating hall. She decided to walk forward, down the hallway and trying not to be seen by the people inside the rooms and the security guards walking around.

She had slipped through many corridors and had just gone into a room, which lead out into reception, which would be her way out. She look back at the corridor behind her and then back at reception before opening the door and sneaking into reception, heading straight towards the doors that would lead her out of the hospital. She tugged at the door handles but they wouldn't budge. Locked.

Merlin grunted in frustration and hit her fist against the glass of the door. She looked at the door handle, hoping it was one of those handles which had a key hole in them, so she had the possibility of picking the lock and allowing herself outside. Unfortunately it didn't which just made Merlin even more frustrated.

She started searching around reception, looking for something that might be able to open the door but saw nothing, she had no idea which buttons or controls opened the doors and she didn't want to set off an alarm or somehow show someone that there was a person in reception.

She sighed in frustration and then jumped as she heard a door to reception open. Her reflexes kicked in and she hid herself quickly behind the kiosk of reception and peered over the top slightly to see who came in and saw two security men, one walked over to the doors and the other to the kiosk, near Merlin.

The man that came round to the kiosk pressed a button which opened the front doors and allowed the other security guard to get out.

"Night buddy." The guard at the kiosk said.

"See ya tomorrow." The other replied and the first security guard locked the doors with the button and then walked back out of reception. Merlin got up from her hiding place and pressed the button that the security guard had pressed to open the doors for the other man, and the door opened forwards.

Merlin ran, not caring if anyone saw her any more, she could get out of the hospital, but where would she go from there? How would she get back home and could see even go home? She got into the car park and stopped, the realisation that she wouldn't get very far making her stop.

"Merlin!" A voice called out and Merlin nearly jumped out of skin. She turned around to see Morgana sticking her head out of a car.

"Morgana?"

"Merlin, come on, before someone sees you." Merlin decided not to question her any further and got in the car and Morgana drove off quickly as sirens sounded out from the hospital as someone must have noticed she was no longer in her room.


	7. Pendragon's

**Title: **Insanity

**Author: **RomaFelton3331

**Rating: **T

**Pairing: **Fem!Merlin/Arthur

**Summary: **Story based on one of the themes from my 100 Themes Challenge Merlin, Theme 12 - Insanity.

**Word count: **659

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, it is all the BBC's

* * *

_"Dr. Arthur Pendragon had been working at his current mental hospital for nearly a year when they had brought in a young girl, no older than eighteen. He had been assigned to her and after a while he soon found himself falling into insanity, insane for her love." _

* * *

**Part Seven;**

Merlin and Morgana had remained quiet the entire drive to, what Merlin assumed, Morgana's house.

"Come on, follow me." Morgana said before getting out of the car. Merlin got out her side and walked with Morgana to the front door of the very large house but before Morgana had a chance to put her key in the door it was opened and Arthur stood on the other side and stared at Morgana.

"Morgana, I just got a call from the hospital, Merlin's escaped! You're her doctor, how could you-" Arthur stopped talking as he realised who was stood next to Morgana. "...Merlin?"

"Hi Arthur." she said, waving slightly.

"What the hell did you do?" he hissed at Morgana.

"I helped her out of that hell hole." Morgana said simply.

"Hell hole? That place is a luxury for people like them!" Arthur hissed again.

"Excuse me?" Merlin hissed back. "We can't help mental disorders! I'm sorry for being such a fucked up freak!" Merlin shouted at him before turning around and walking away.

"Merlin!" Morgana shouted back at her, turning back to glare at Arthur who glared back, before running after Merlin. "Merlin! Merlin! Please stop." Merlin had slowed down into a fast walk but didn't stop. It didn't take Morgana long to catch up with Merlin.

"Merlin, he didn't mean it like that."

"Yes he did."

"He didn't mean to! He doesn't think, he just blabs on without thinking."

"He's a prat!"

"Well...I can't disagree with that." Morgana said. "Now please Merlin, come back, you can stay at our house, although we will have to sneak around my father...if he finds you in our house he will not hesitate to take you back to the hospital...he may even do something worse."

"Like what?" Merlin asked.

"He might send you to one of those high security hospitals and the doctors are horrible and much more stern and serious and the inmates their...have many more...issues and are no where near as sane as the patients in our hospital..." Morgana explained.

"Oh...I wouldn't like that..." she said quietly.

"Yes, well then we must be careful." Morgana smiled.

"What about Arthur?" Merlin asked.

"What about him?"

"Won't he tell Uther that I'm basically hiding in your house?"

"Not if I threaten him." Morgana said evilly and made Merlin chuckle. "So, are you coming back?"

"Yeah...I guess." she said and followed Morgana back to the house.

* * *

"You do know that father will find her here?"

"Not if we keep her away from him, him away from her and you keep your mouth shut." Morgana said to her slightly younger brother.

"Well, as long as she...behaves herself." he said, looking over at Merlin who was glaring at him. "I won't say anything, but I am not going to hide her from him."

"Fine, I don't need you too any way." Morgana said, folding her arms which made Merlin roll her eyes. These two were just like children, fighting over a toy or something else.

"What if Father asks us if we know anything about Merlin?" Arthur said.

"We would say we don't know anything." Morgana replied. "Anyway, why do you think father would ask?" Morgana asked Arthur.

"I was her previous doctor and you're her current doctor, we're siblings, he will probably think we planned this all along and do in fact have her in hiding somewhere."

"It won't happen Arthur, now just keep your mouth shut, I'm going to bed I have to be up at six and it's..." Morgana looked at her watch. "Almost two am, night!" she said walking up the stairs leaving Merlin and Arthur alone together.

"So...do you know where I will be staying?" Merlin asked, quietly and Arthur sighed.

"Follow me, I'm sure there is a spare room you can stay in where my father won't find you..." Arthur said, turning around and walking down a second set of stairs, with Merlin following him close behind.


	8. Goodnight

**Title: **Insanity

**Author: **RomaFelton3331

**Rating: **T

**Pairing: **Fem!Merlin/Arthur

**Summary: **Story based on one of the themes from my 100 Themes Challenge Merlin, Theme 12 - Insanity.

**Word count: **1,075

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, it is all the BBC's

* * *

_"Dr. Arthur Pendragon had been working at his current mental hospital for nearly a year when they had brought in a young girl, no older than eighteen. He had been assigned to her and after a while he soon found himself falling into insanity, insane for her love." _

* * *

**Part Eight;**

* * *

Arthur lead Merlin through a door way and switched on the light and she gasped. The room in front of her was massive and amazing and everything she wished she could have had as a child. Although the room itself was quiet bland, with the white walls and white wooden floor and not much inside of it, a large white double bed, a bedside table either side with a lamp on top, a large wardrobe, two desks, on held a television the other a laptop, the desk with laptop had a chair next to it. Their was also a wardrobe, a chest of draws and a vanity with a very large mirror and a stool in front of it.

Arthur looked to his side at Merlin who's mouth was wide open. "There should be some spare clothes in the wardrobe, although they may be slightly baggy on you as you're...very skinny." he said, his eyes raking up and down her small but tall frame.

Merlin nodded. "Why are there spare clothes in there anyway?" Merlin asked and noticed something flash in Arthur's eyes.

"This used to be someone's room." Arthur said with no tone in his voice and Merlin knew not to question him any more.

"Thank you for the clothes...and the room." Merlin said as she walked further into the room.

"There is an en-suite just there." Arthur said pointed to a white door. "Bath, shower, sink, toilet, plenty of draws and cabinets in their for you." he paused. "You shouldn't need to leave the room, and food will be brought to you three times a day, the exact time...we will have to figure out somehow...I'm sure Morgana has already thought of something." Arthur said.

"Thank you Arthur..." she said, sending him a smile, which he half heartedly returned.

When Arthur closed the door behind him the smile dropped from Merlin's face and she walked over to the bed sitting on it's edge. She ran her hands through her hair and sighed out deeply. She was safe, and finally out of that mad house, which she heated, but in a few hours people would be out looking for her, police including.

Her mother would be informed that she was gone and her mother would be worrying about her and putting stress on her body, which she really didn't need and the thought of her mother being stressed made he stressed to.

"Don't worry, she'll be fine." A voice said from the doorway making Merlin jumped. She turned her body around and saw Morgana slanted against the doorway with a phone in her hand. "I called your mother, just to tell her you were okay and she thanked me, you know she really didn't want to send you to that place, she only did it because she thought it would make you happier and healthier." she said, walking into the room.

"I know." Merlin nodded, drawing her knees to her chest. "It doesn't make me what to go back there, I hated it there and I don't feel happier and I sure as hell am not getting healthier I mean look at me." she said, lifting her arms and moving her legs so Morgana could see her very thin frame and then she hugged her arms around her legs which she had drawn up to her chest.

"Although you might not think so, you are getting healthier, you've gained a few pounds since you first came here, which has boosted up your BMI a little bit, just not enough for you to notice, had you given it a few more months you would have seen the difference."

Merlin nodded. "Maybe, but I am not getting any happier."

"Yes you are." Morgana said, sitting down next to Merlin on the bed.

"Morgana, don't you think, I, myself, would know if I was getting happy."

"Some times people can't see it, but you are getting happier Merlin, I can see it."

"How?" she asked. "How am I happier?" she asked Morgana.

"Your eyes are brighter than I have ever seen them, you smile a lot more, your mother said you never smiled much before, but now I see you smiled everyday, especially when Arthur is around." the last comment brought redness to Merlin's cheeks. "And there it is, a show of emotion, you never did that before and now you are always blushing and stuttering, showing your love for Arthur."

"I, I don't love him." Merlin lied.

"Stuttering." Morgana teased.

"Shut up." Merlin mumbled and Morgana laughed.

"Well, I'd bring you food, but you look very tired, so I will leave you to sleep...it is almost three in the morning." she said, glancing at a wall clock, that Merlin hadn't noticed before.

"Thank you Morgana."

"You are very welcome." Morgana smiled. "I will bring you up some breakfast up at nine, hopefully you should be awake by then."

"Thank you, again." Morgana smiled and left the room. Merlin got up from the bed and walked over to the wardrobe to see if there was anything she could change into for bed. She managed to find a white silk nightdress which seemed to be her size.

She slipped out of her clothes and pulled the nightdress over her head, it fit well and was a little baggy but hopefully she would fit into it fully when she started to gain some more weight. She got under the thick covers of the bed and laid her head on the soft pillow and in less than five minutes she was asleep.

* * *

"Well, I told you so didn't I?" Morgana smirked as she came out of the bedroom and met Arthur just outside.

"Shut up, Morgana, I did hear, there is no need to brag about it."

"Oh yes there is, you brag about things all the time!"

"Whatever." Arthur said, crossing his arms.

"Well...what are you going to do?"

"Going to do about what?"

"Merlin's feelings towards you!" Morgana said, rolling her eyes.

"Nothing, I do have a girlfriend, remember Morgana." he said, and began walking down the corridor and up the stairs to the ground floor, heading towards his bedroom on the first, Morgana followed him up.

"You know your girlfriend is a stupid gold digger don't you!?" she yelled as he walked up the stairs to the first floor. "At least Merlin would actually love you." she yelled louder as Arthur walked through a door.


	9. Girlfriend

**Title: **Insanity

**Author: **RomaMarufixx

**Rating: **T

**Pairing: **Fem!Merlin/Arthur

**Summary: **Story based on one of the themes from my 100 Themes Challenge Merlin, Theme 12 - Insanity.

**Word count: **1,944

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, it is all the BBC's

* * *

_"Dr. Arthur Pendragon had been working at his current mental hospital for nearly a year when they had brought in a young girl, no older than eighteen. He had been assigned to her and after a while he soon found himself falling into insanity, insane for her love." _

* * *

**Part Nine;**

Merlin awoke dizzy and unsure of where she was. It only took her a few seconds to realise she was not in her room at the mental hospital but in a spare bedroom in the Pendragon household. She turned around to her other side so that she faced the wall that housed the clock and noted it was midday, or what she assumed, their were no windows in this room, no light came, the only light was provided by the bulb on the ceiling and various others in the room.

Merlin got out of bed and walked over to the television, pressing the on button and the first channel that came up was BBC news and the clock on the left hand side of the television told Merlin she was right about the time.

The first article that came up on the news was about Merlin's break out, although they didn't specify a name, Merlin knew it was about her. "A break out from a local mental hospital, take precautions around the local area and make sure to lock your doors and windows and don't stay out too late."

Wow, they made her sound like a murderer, she just had a few problems, it wasn't like she was going to go around chopping people up with an axe. She sighed and turned the television off, not wanting to hear any more depressing or untrue stories. She headed towards the bathroom to get herself ready for the day.

Taking a look in the mirror she made a noise of disgust, having seen her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was getting greasy at the roots and the rest of her hair stuck out in several directions, her face looked paler in the mornings and shone with a small amount of oil that was always present on her face before she put powder on it.

She quickly washed her hair in the sink, using products she found in the cupboards and then washed her face. She managed to find a hair dryer and some straighters in one of the bathrooms cupboards and because her hair was quite thin it only took fifteen minutes to dry and she straightened her fringe, the only part of her hair which had a complete mind of it's own. Brushing her teeth was the last thing she did before leaving the bathroom and heading over to the wardrobe to find some fresh clothes for today.

She pulled out some faded blue jeans and an oversized blue jumped made of a very soft and warm material. She looked around the room to see if there was any spare underwear and whilst looking she found make up and jewellery and finally she found a draw stacked with matching clean underwear and bras.

She picked a matching blue pair and rid herself of her current clothing and put them on before pulling on the jeans and jumper over the top. She looked at the dirty clothes scattered on the floor and spotted a basket that looked as though it could be used for washing. She scooped up the clothes and dumped them into the basket and then walked over the wear she had placed the make up and jewellery she had found earlier.

The make up she had found was simple things, powder, liquid mascara, pencil eye liner, and thin and thick mascara. She used the powder on her face first, lightening it up by a shade and getting rid of the oil. She then used a small amount of the black eye liner and put on the thin mascara on her eye lashes.

She looked at the jewellery she had found. Two rings, each with an unusual marking on them, one silver heart necklace and a matching silver heart bracelet and box with three different pairs of earrings, one pair sapphires, one pair rubies and the other pair diamonds. Only have one ear piercing and not being fond of the other types of jewellery, she picked up the sapphire earrings and put them in her ears, before placing the other jewellery and the make up back to where she found them.

Once that was done, Merlin walked over to the huge double bed she had slept in last night and made it, making sure the blankets and pillows were all neat and in line and the bed looked like it hadn't been slept in at all. Almost as soon as she had finished making the bed, Arthur walked through the door, startling her.

"Oh! Arthur." she said as she spun around on the balls of her feet.

"Good morning Merlin." she smiled.

"Good morning Arthur." she said back and then noticed her was carrying something in his hands, well under his arm, it was too big too carry in his hands. "What's that?" she asked and Arthur pulled it out in front of him, before placing it on the floor in front of Merlin.

"These are weighing scales, I'm going to weigh you." Merlin looked down at the scales before looking back up at him.

"...why?"

"I need to see whether or not you are on the path to recovery, or if we need to try something different." _path to recovery? Something different? What is he going on about? _Merlin questioned herself. "I am still your doctor after all."

"I thought you didn't want to be my doctor, that's why you past my care onto Morgana."

"I was being stupid, I realise that now, whilst you are here me and Morgana will take turns being your doctor so my father doesn't get suspicious, now, please?" Merlin nodded and got on the scales, it was set on kg, she'd always weighed herself in pounds so did not know how much she weighed.

"40.8kg...you've put on 3lbs since you first came to the hospital, that's very good."

"I'm still stick thin, Arthur."

"Well...you are very underweight, your BMI is...12.2, still got a long way until you are considered healthy." Merlin nodded and stepped off of the scales. "How are other things?" he asked and Merlin arched a brow. "Your...arms?" Merlin understood what he meant then.

"Oh, fine, four weeks since last? Just scars now?"

"What about other places?"

"Only my legs, but the same with my arms, four weeks clean and just scarring."

"That's good then, I will trust you with razors to shave your legs and other places you shave, but if I find one single cut that is not accidental, you will not be given that privilege." Merlin nodded in understanding.

"How come you're here instead of the hospital?" she asked.

"I phoned in ill, I have the day off, then I will go back tomorrow and then I get Saturday and Sunday off, one of the perks of having your father owning the hospital...well he joint owns it." Arthur smiled at Merlin before picking up the scales and placing them under his arm. "I'll leave you alone for a little while, and I will bring you down some food in an hour or so, If you want it any earlier just let me know, there is a mobile in the drawers by the bed which has mine and Morgana's numbers in it." he said and turned to walk out of the room.

"Wait, Arthur!" she shouted after him and he paused, turning back around.

"What?"

"Why have you suddenly changed your mind, about being my doctor, you said you realised you were being stupid, what do you mean?" Arthur sighed and walked to the bathroom and returned without the scales.

"I first resigned from being your doctor because of what happened shortly after you when in the claustrophobia room." Merlin recalled the event and blushed at the memory of their almost kiss. "I thought that it would be better for the both of us is distance was placed in between us, so that nothing would escalate from that event."

"Nothing happening at the event." Merlin muttered but Arthur had heard her.

"Something almost happened and I couldn't risk anything almost happening again or something actually happening." Arthur said.

"What would be so bad about something happening between us?" Merlin asked, almost hurt.

"I have a girlfriend." Merlin rolled her eyes.

"What was that for?" Arthur said, his voice raised slightly making Merlin jump.

"What?"

"The eye roll."

"Morgana's told me about your girlfriend."

"Oh yeah? And what has she told you?"

"That she is a bitch and a gold digger." Merlin spat.

"Well she is not."

"Then why would Morgana say it, as your sister she would be happy for you unless the girl was nothing but bad news, which it seems she is." Merlin retaliated.

"I don't need to stand here and take this from you Merlin, I am here to help you, if you don't want my help then fine, if you do, then do not criticise my private life and keep your nose out of it." Arthur said before exiting the room and Merlin flung herself on the bed, burying her face in the pillows wishing that, that conversation had gone better.

* * *

Arthur brought in her food an hour later, just resting on top of the chest of drawers before walking back out of the room, not even looking once at Merlin who was still in the same position she was in an hour ago, only with her head up and watching Arthur move through her current room.

* * *

Another meal was dropped off by Arthur at seven in the evening, his actions the complete same as six hours ago, no words were shared between the two.

* * *

At around nine in the evening her door open and she turned her head up and around to see who had come into her room, hoping it was Arthur but knew it was not him as he would only come into her room at meal times and to do check ups on her. The person stood by the door was Morgana who must have just finished work at the hospital.

"Good evening Merlin." she smiled as she closed the door and walked over to the bed.

"Is it?" Merlin rolled her eyes before burying her head back into her pillows.

"What happened?" Morgana sighed and sat at the end of the bed, just beside Merlin's feet.

"Just something with Arthur...he told me why he resigned being my doctor and then I asked what was wrong with something happening between us and then he said about his girlfriend and I told him what everyone had been saying about his girlfriend and then he got annoyed and walked out of the room, I've only seen him twice since, when he brought in my lunch and my dinner."

"Which I'm guessing is the plate on top of the chest of drawers?"

"That's my dinner, yes." Merlin said, still not looking up.

"Where's you lunch?"

"In the bin." Morgana sighed.

"Merlin you must eat."

"I don't feel like it."

"You won't recover if you don't eat."

"Don't care."

"Merlin...is it because of Arthur, your argument, that you won't eat?" After receiving no answer, she knew she was right. "If you want we could try and change Arthur's mind about his girlfriend." Morgana said, trying to pull Merlin out of her current sadness.

"What do you mean?" she asked, her head off of the pillows and looking at Morgana.

"He's going out with her this Saturday, and maybe you and I just happen to be shopping that day and bump into the two and one things leads to another and Arthur finds out what his girlfriend really is like." Merlin grinned.

"Sounds like a plan."


	10. Cheating Girlfriend

**Title: **Insanity

**Author: **RomaMarufixx

**Rating: **T

**Pairing: **Fem!Merlin/Arthur

**Summary: **Story based on one of the themes from my 100 Themes Challenge Merlin, Theme 12 - Insanity.

**Word count: **1,125

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, it is all the BBC's

* * *

_"Dr. Arthur Pendragon had been working at his current mental hospital for nearly a year when they had brought in a young girl, no older than eighteen. He had been assigned to her and after a while he soon found himself falling into insanity, insane for her love." _

* * *

**Part Ten;**

* * *

The next few days had been slightly awkward between Merlin and Arthur, their routine and time together was as doctor and patient and very few words were passed between them. When Arthur was not with Merlin, Morgana was or Merlin sulked in her room on her own, either sleeping, reading a book, drawing, sketching, watching TV or listening to music.

When Saturday came around Merlin was more than excited to get some time away from the house she'd been stuck in for days and to finally meet this gold digger of a girlfriend that belonged to Arthur.

"Merlin, you better get ready." Morgana whispered through the door. "Arthur's leaving now, we'll give it fifteen minutes and then follow, make sure to cover your face, police are still looking for you and we're going to a public place."

Merlin was already dressed but needed something to cover her face, she went to the wardrobe and started digging around until she found a baggy jumped with a hood. It was so baggy that it covered most of her face, which was good enough.

"Merlin, are you ready?" Morgana whispered and Merlin ran over to the door, opening it.

"Yep, how do I look?" Merlin asked.

"Great, I can hardly tell you're a girl, let alone yourself." Merlin wasn't sure how to respond so she closed the door to her current bedroom and followed Morgana up the stairs and to the second floor.

"I take it we're driving there?" Merlin asked.

"Yup." Morgana said walking over to her car and getting in and Merlin quickly followed.

"I'm not quite sure where Arthur's meeting his girlfriend so we might have to search around for a bit."

"Great and it's not like the shopping centre is massive or anything." Merlin said sarcastically but Morgana ignored her tone of voice.

"They're having lunch together, which means they're going to be at a restaurant or some place like that and there are not as many of them as there are shops, so it shouldn't take very long." Morgana said, driving out of the driveway and onto the road.

* * *

It had only taken them ten minutes when they saw Arthur and his blonde haired girlfriend having lunch at some fancy restaurant that look very expensive to eat in.

"Is that her?" Merlin asked as her and Morgana sat down on a bench with a good view of where Arthur and his girlfriend were sat eating their lunch.

"Yes, that's her."

"...She's pretty." Merlin said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"She's not that pretty!" Morgana said. "90% of her beauty can be removed with a wet wipe." Morgana said making Merlin laugh.

"So, how long are they going to be there?" Merlin asked.

"They're just having lunch and then Arthur's going home to finish some paperwork, I don't know what she'd going to do after."

"Should me tail her after?" Merlin suggested.

"Sounds good to me." Morgana nodded.

Their lunch lasted another hour before the two left the restaurant giving each other a kiss before they went their separate ways and once Arthur was out of sight Merlin and Morgana followed the girl who went into a clothes shop.

Perfectly normal they would have thought if they didn't see her go up to the person behind the counter and kiss him.

"That slut!" Morgana said.

"She really is..." Merlin trailed off.

* * *

The rest of the day they had followed the girl and she'd seen three other men, asides from Arthur and man at the clothes shop, she had at least five boyfriends, and Merlin and Morgana were just guessing that's who they were, they might have been fiancées or husbands.

* * *

They returned home around five and almost walked straight into Uther, but they just managed to avoid him and get down to the bedroom Merlin was staying in.

"We have to tell him." Merlin said.

"He'll never believe us."

"We still should, he has a right to know."

"When he comes home, we'll confront him." Morgana said and Merlin nodded in agreement.

"Morgana, Merlin, what are you doing in my room?" Arthur asked as he stepped into his room.

"Waiting for you to come home, we need to talk to you about something." Morgana said for the both of him.

"Okay, what?" Arthur asked them.

"We saw your girlfriend with another, well, several other men." Merlin admitted nervously, as she didn't know how Arthur was going to react.

"What?" he said, glaring at the two dark haired women.

"We kinda...followed you to the shopping centre." Merlin admitted.

"You what?"

"We went, because we needed to see if what we thought was true and it is."

"Get out, now." Arthur said pointing to the door behind him.

"Arthur, you have to listen to us, we're trying to avoid you getting hurt!" Morgana explained.

"God help me Morgana, leave, or I'll do something you will not like."

"Arthur-"

"Father!" Arthur shouted at the top of his lungs and Merlin and Morgana's eyes widened.

"No Arthur, please." Merlin begged but it was too later, the door to Arthur's room opened and an annoyed Uther stepped through.

"Arthur, what's with all the shouting?" he asked and then his eyes settled on Merlin. "Ms Emrys, what are you doing here?"

"Um..." she stuttered looking between the three Pendragon's for some kind of explanation.

"Morgana broke Merlin out of the hospital several days ago and has been keeping her here."

"What, Morgana, is this true?"

"Dad, please, I had to-"

"Morgana, enough. Merlin will be taken back to the hospital immediately, I'll phone some people to come and collect her and as for you Morgana, I'm sorry but just because you're my daughter does not mean you get any special treatment, you're fired." That shocked everyone.

"W-What?" Morgana stuttered.

"You're fired, I will give you next week to clean out your office." Uther said before taking his mobile out of his pocket. "Hello, yes, I've found Merlin Emrys, yes that will be fine, thank you." he turned back to the three. "They will be fifteen minutes, Miss Emrys if you would like to follow me."

Merlin nodded and followed the man out of the room only looking back once at Morgana and Arthur who were stood stunned and as soon as she and Uther had gone Morgana turned on Arthur.

"What the hell did you do that for?" she practically growled.

"Why are you stalking me and my girlfriend and making up lies about her?" Arthur growled back.

"I'm not." she said. "And you're just an idiot for not seeing that and now you've put Merlin back in hell." Morgana said before storming out of the room and leaving Arthur alone.


	11. I Love You

**Title: **Insanity

**Author: **RomaMarufixx

**Rating: **T

**Pairing: **Fem!Merlin/Arthur

**Summary: **Story based on one of the themes from my 100 Themes Challenge Merlin, Theme 12 - Insanity.

**Word count: **854

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, it is all the BBC's

* * *

_"Dr. Arthur Pendragon had been working at his current mental hospital for nearly a year when they had brought in a young girl, no older than eighteen. He had been assigned to her and after a while he soon found himself falling into insanity, insane for her love." _

* * *

**Part Eleven;**

* * *

He hadn't spoken to any of his family for three days, he'd spent his either in his room doing work, at work or with his girlfriend.

Since Morgana had been fired from her job at the hospital and Arthur didn't want to be her doctor she had been assigned to some new doctor, who's name Arthur couldn't remember.

"Arthur?" a voice said through his door, he hadn't even heard someone knock at his door.

"Yes?"

"It's me." Morgana.

"I don't want to talk to you Morgana."

"Stop acting like a child Arthur, I just want to talk."

"Well I don't."

"You know what, I don't care." Morgana said before opening the door and walking inside her brother's room.

"Morgana-"

"Sit down and shut up." she said abruptly and Arthur did what she said. "Me and Merlin did not say what we said to hurt your feelings or to make your break up with your girlfriend, we said what we said so that you wouldn't find out first hand and so you wouldn't hurt as bad, I'm only looking out for you...little brother." she said and scruffed up his neat blonde hair.

"Morgana, I don't need you to look after me, I am perfectly capable of looking after myself."

"You think you are, but you are not."

"Get out of my room Morgana, or I will throw you out."

"Can you at least talk to Merlin about this please?"

"No."

"Arthur, I won't be able to see Merlin, ever, and it's your fault!"

"No."

"Arthur, you complete and utter asshole!" she said and slammed the door behind her, making several things on the wall shake.

* * *

Arthur hadn't been able to focus on his work all day, he'd filled in some forms and checked on his patients but apart from that he hadn't done much but sit in his office and stare at things.

Maybe he should go and see Merlin, he thought. Yes he should. He should at least talk to her.

"Alice?" Arthur said into his speaker phone.

"Yes Dr. Pendragon?" she replied.

"Cancel the rest of today's appointments and bring Merlin Emrys to my office, please."

"Of course sir."

It was ten minutes later when someone knocked at his door.

"Enter." the door opened and a very worried looking Merlin entered.

"You asked to see me?"

"Yes, please sit down." she did as he asked her to and averted her eyes so she didn't have to look at Arthur. "I asked to see you today because...well, because Morgana wanted me to talk to you, originally I wasn't going to, but, well, I thought I'd give you a chance to explain yourself."

"Thank you." she said and there was a brief silence between the two before Merlin spoke again. "I said what I said because it was true."

"_Mer_lin..."

"No, Arthur, listen, because this is probably the last chance I'm ever going to be able to talk to you since you avoid me as much as possible."

"No I'm not-"

"Arthur. Listen." she said sternly and that did shut Arthur up. "Thank you, well, Morgana told me about your girlfriend and I hated her from what little she had to say and then she told me that you were going out with your girlfriend for lunch and we decided to follow the two of you."

"So, you stalked us."

"No, we followed, there is a difference, anyway, we followed the two of you and waited until you had finished your meal before following her and saw her meet up with another man."

"It could have been one of her friends."

"One that she snogs the living daylights out of? Yeah, right, of course. And he wasn't the only one, I can't remember how many men we saw her with, I lost count after the tenth or so man."

"Right, Merlin, that's it." He said standing up.

"You just can't handle the truth, no sit down, I'm not finished." Her tone and look were enough to make Arthur do as she said. "I admit I was overjoyed to see her with other men, because I thought it would end your relationship and I may have a chance with you, even though I am not good enough for you."

"You...have feelings for me?"

"Yes, I have for quite a while."

"I thought Morgana was lying."

"What, she-she told you?" Merlin stuttered, looking up at Arthur for the first time and losing her cool.

"Yes." Arthur said and leaned over his desk so that he could cup her chin. "And _I _and not good enough for _you _and I guess I love you." he said and kissed Merlin, shocking her, but not stopping her from kissing him back.

"But, your girlfriend-"

"Is a front."

"What?"

"For my father and her's, we pretend to be together to make them happy while we are free to date whoever we want."

"But, Arthur, what, how...this isn't going to work."

"It is Merlin, I'm going to get you out of this hell and I'm going to get out of my hell. I love you."

"I love you too."


	12. Another Escape

**Title: **Insanity

**Author: **RomaMarufixx

**Rating: **T

**Pairing: **Fem!Merlin/Arthur

**Summary: **Story based on one of the themes from my 100 Themes Challenge Merlin, Theme 12 - Insanity.

**Word count: **1,622

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, it is all the BBC's

* * *

_"Dr. Arthur Pendragon had been working at his current mental hospital for nearly a year when they had brought in a young girl, no older than eighteen. He had been assigned to her and after a while he soon found himself falling into insanity, insane for her love." _

* * *

**Part Twelve; **

* * *

Arthur had reassigned himself as Merlin's doctor that afternoon so that he could see he, spend time with her, kiss her and plan on how to get her out of the hospital.

Merlin had told him how Morgana had snuck her out of the hospital but they had nearly been caught and Arthur had told her since that had happened they had improved security so that way they couldn't do what Merlin and Morgana had done.

They only thing Merlin and Arthur could think of was to escape through the sewage system or underground, someone that led out somewhere and Arthur could have a car waiting there for him. He'd already packed all his things that he would need and brought some things for Merlin, all they needed was a way out.

And Arthur had a solution.

It had been two weeks since Merlin had been admitted back into hospital and Arthur came to visit her for, what everyone else thought was just a regular check up, but it wasn't. Within the files Arthur had was maps of the buildings lay out he'd managed to get by slipping a reasonably large sum of money into the cleaner's pockets.

"Arthur!" Merlin smiled and moved from sitting on the bed over to Arthur and pulled him in for a kiss. "I've missed you."

"It's only been a few hours." he said, one hand resting at her hip the other still holding the files.

"I still missed you."

"And I, you, now I have something that might help us out, come on let's sit down."

"Okay, what is it?"

"Maps, I managed to get from the cleaners, there's some stairs leading down to a sort of basement type room where cleaning supplies are kept and in that room is an old sort of hatch on the ground which leads to an underground tunnel, back in WWII they used this to get people in and out of the building without getting caught by the nazi's."

"Wow, this is a WWII building? It doesn't even look five years old let alone over seventy years old!"

"Well, most of the building was destroyed during the war and rebuilt and then as the years went on more and more sections were added onto the building, hence why it looks new."

"Oh, Okay, so, anyway you were saying?"

"Well this tunnel goes on for quite a bit, three miles and then it opens up to the middle of the woods...near an ASDA car park."

"Convenient."

"Well from there we can drive to St. Pancras, which'll take around twenty minutes, to take the eurostar to France, I have tickets for us."

"France?"

"New Country, new life a new start." Arthur smiled.

"We're going to live in France?"

"No...I've brought a villa in Rome."

"Italy?"

"Yeah, it's perfect."

"I've always wanted to go to Italy, but won't it be expensive and we won't get far if we don't know the language."

"I know Italian, among many other languages and as for money, I have two million pounds ready to spend on the train and then convert to euros to use."

"Two million?"

"Yeah, I am rich Merlin, we won't have to worry about the money." Merlin nodded.

"Okay, but, you speak Italian? Say something." she grinned.

"Merlin, ho intenzione di portarti via da questo inferno e ci accingiamo a iniziare la nostra nuova vita insieme a Roma." he said fluently and Merlin stared at him, her jaw hanging open.

"Wow, you're...fluent...what did you say?"

"Merlin, I am going to take you away from this hell and we are going to start our new lives together in Rome."

"Do you know French? Say it in French!"

"Merlin, je vais vous emmener loin de cet enfer et nous allons commencer notre nouvelle vie ensemble à Rome."

"Cool." Merlin grinned.

"You're amused easily, aren't you?" he laughed.

"Hey!"

"Sorry...anyway, the train leaves at eight, so around half seven I will pretend to take you to my office, instead we will escape out of that tunnel and by the time we drive to St. Pancras the train will be ready to leave."

"How long will it take to get there?"

"3 hours, give or take, we'll get there around midnight in Paris, I have us a room booked at a five star hotel."

"A room?" she blushed.

"Oh, two double beds, don't worry."

"I wasn't worrying." she said, still blushing.

"Okay, well, I'll see you at half seven."

* * *

As soon as her clock ticked to half seven her door opened and Arthur stood in the doorway.

"Hello Ms. Emrys, would you like to follow me please?" he said, all professional like, such as back in the days Merlin and Arthur first met.

"Of course Dr. Pendragon." she smiled and followed him out of the room and down the hallway towards his office, there was no one in sight and just as they thought they were clear another doctor came around the corner.

"Good evening Dr. Pendragon." the tall dark haired man smiled.

"Good evening Dr. Morgan."

"What is Ms. Emrys doing out of bed?"

"I need to talk to her over her recovery, she is doing very well."

"That's very good to hear Ms. Emrys, good luck."

"Thank you." Merlin said and the doctor walked away.

"Quickly, let's get out before someone else catches us."

"When they find out we're both missing will they try and find us?"

"More than likely and they won't hesitate to cross the borders, hence we're not staying in France." Merlin nodded and followed Arthur down several hallways until they reached the stairs which lead them down to their escape route.

"I don't see a latch or anything." Merlin said looking around the room whilst Arthur pulled an old rug up.

"Here it is."

"Okay, cool, so, you locked the door?"

"Yup and once we both go down I'll try and place the rug back as good as I can."

"Okay, let's go." she grinned, pulling on the latch, opening it and walking down the steps, Arthur following her. "So, four miles?" she smiled as Arthur passed her a torch.

"Four miles." he confirmed with a grimace.

* * *

"Sir, we're missing one of our patients, Ms. Merlin Emrys."

"Dr. Pendragon is also no where to be seen, Dr. Morgan, you were the last to see them, where were they heading?"

"To his office..." the doctor said. "Phone Dr. Uther Pendragon and then set off the warning bells, he will not very happy that we've let her escape, _twice." _Dr. Morgan seethed.

* * *

"That had to be more than four miles!" Merlin complained as they exited the other side.

"At least we're out now." Arthur said, crawling out behind her. "Come on, there's my car, we have to hurry or we'll miss the train and then we are screwed." he said and the two ran over to a black volvo.

"This isn't your car." Merlin noted, she'd seen his car before and this wasn't it.

"Yeah, I got a new one, we can dump it in the car park near St. Pancras and buy a new one in Paris, I have enough money and it'll be one with the steering wheel on the right side...for France and if we have to I'll get another car in Italy, just to make sure they can't track us." Merlin nodded and got into the car just as they heard sirens come from the hospital.

"Shit." Merlin said as Arthur drove off to St. Pancras. "We're going to be on the run forever." she said as they sped off.

Merlin and Arthur managed to get onto the eurostar without being caught or spotted by anyone and were currently sat on the train, low down in their seats so that if someone was to pass by their window they wouldn't be able to see them...or see them very well.

When the train began to set off and no one had come to get them, they sighed a sigh of relief.

"Well...that was close." Merlin breathed out.

"Very." Arthur chuckled.

"So, three hours, huh?" she said, relaxing into her seat.

"Yup."

"Are you sure the hotel will still be open at midnight?"

"Yes, I paid extra to be able to check in at that time, you may as well waste some time on the train sleeping, otherwise the train ride will seem like days." Merlin nodded and made herself comfortable so that she could sleep the whole three hours or at last most of it, to pass the time.

* * *

_A beautiful autumn scenery. _

_Pigeons collecting food off of the ground. _

_Pigeons scared off, flying across the Eiffel tower and the surrounding area and people. _

_A young couple, holding hands, running. _

_Police talking to people._

_Police grabbing the man. _

_The woman screaming, trying to help, trying to pull the man away from the police. _

_A gun._

_A gun shot._

_Blood. Lots of it. _

_A woman crashing to the ground. _

_Looks of shock and sorrow. _

_A man's pained scream. _

* * *

Morgana woke up with a scream, breathing deeply and sweat dripping down her paler than normal face.

"Morgana what on Earth is wrong?" Uther said, walking into her bedroom and sitting on her bed and she clung to him, her arms wrapped around his neck. "Did you have another nightmare?" She nodded against her father's chest.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she shook her head.

"Just...just please, stay here until I've calmed down." she stuttered, her shoulders shaking with her body trying not to cry but failing.

What she really needed right now was to get to Paris and save the couple, she'd recognise those two anywhere.


	13. France and Italy

**Title: **Insanity

**Author: **RomaMarufixx

**Rating: **M

**Pairing: **Fem!Merlin/Arthur

**Summary: **Story based on one of the themes from my 100 Themes Challenge Merlin, Theme 12 - Insanity.

**Word count: **1,823

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, it is all the BBC's

**Warnings: **Sex and Virginity loss in this chapter!

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**Authors note at the end of the chapter. **

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_"Dr. Arthur Pendragon had been working at his current mental hospital for nearly a year when they had brought in a young girl, no older than eighteen. He had been assigned to her and after a while he soon found himself falling into insanity, insane for her love." _

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**Part Thirteen; **

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It was a little past midnight when the train drew into it's stop in Paris, and Arthur was wide awake, having not been able to sleep to entire time, Merlin, however, was fast asleep and had been so the entire time.

"Merlin, we're here." he whispered, nudging her.

"Mm, what?"

"Come on, we need to grab a taxi to get to the hotel, I can't carry both you and the bags." he grinned as she slowly woke up.

"Yeah, okay, let's go." she said and peered out of the window of the train for a quick second before grabbing her bags and heading off, following Arthur as she had no idea where she was going.

"So, we take the taxi and go to the hotel to stay overnight and then what happens?" Merlin asked as they reached the taxi pick up point.

"Well, we have to be out of the hotel by midday and at ten there is a car place that opens, I can buy a car whilst you stay at the hotel and then I bring it there, we pack up our things, put it in the car and then drive to the South of France."

"And how long will they take?"

"...a long time, but we will make stops along the way, stay at a hotel if we have to, gives us a great time to explore some of France while we can." Arthur said smiling at her and then hailing a cab as one came to pull in. "Come on, we need to get to the hotel before one in the morning." he said and the two pulled their bags inside and drove off to the fancy French hotel they would be staying in for the night.

* * *

"Wow." Merlin breathed out as she pulled her suitcase and carried her other bags inside the hotel room. "It's amazing."

"It should be, it was very expensive."

"I'd ask...but I don't really wanna know." Merlin smiled and pushed her bags to one side of the room. "I'm gonna have a shower, see you in fifteen." Merlin said and quickly disappeared into the bathroom while Arthur pushed his bags next to Merlin's and threw his tie onto the bed and unbuttoned the first two buttons on his shirt.

He pulled out his tablet from inside on of his suitcases and sat at the edge of the large double map and loaded up his map app. They had a few days before people would be catching up to them so they could explore Paris and a few others places before they needed to get out of the country. The five cities in France, beside Paris, that interested him and he was sure they would interest Merlin were Versaille, Lyon, Toulouse, Marseille and Nice. Versaille was closest but in the wrong direction to the border of Italy.

"What are you looking at?" Merlin said, coming out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel that ended mid thigh and she was towelling off her long black hair with another.

"Maps, I figured we'd go to a few places before we hit Italy."

"What places?" Merlin said walking over to Arthur, still towelling off her hair.

"Well I figured we could stay another night in Paris, tomorrow we can do whatever we want, see the Eiffel Tower and go shopping...as well as buy a car and then the day after that we can go to Disneyland." he grinned as Merlin's eyes brightened up.

"I've never been to Disneyland."

"Well as of the day after tomorrow, you will have been." he grinned and she dropped the towel she had been using to dry her hair and leaned down to kiss Arthur giving him the perfect view of her cleavage and he reached up to cup her face as their kiss became deeper but then she pulled away smirking and stood back up straight.

"What about the other places?"

"I have five other places that I want to visit, Versailles, Lyon, Toulouse, Marseille and Nice, are there any places you would like to visit?"

"I don't know many places in France, well, that you haven't already mentioned, those places seems fine, what is there to see at those places?"

"Well, in Versailles there is the Gardens of Versailles, the several historic sites, castles and the canal, although we can't spend too long there as it's in the complete location and the nearest city which we'd like to see if almost five hours away and most hotels let you in until ten o'clock and I won't be able to book it for a longer check in time, so we'd have to leave at, at least five in the afternoon."

"Seems fine, just a quick look around the place if we leave here early in the morning, around eight or nine and then...how long does it take to get to Versailles?"

"Around thirty minutes."

"So that gives us almost eight hours, roughly, so that's enough time...right?" Merlin asked.

"More than enough." he grinned. "You get dressed and go to bed, I'm going to have a shower before I go to sleep." he yawned.

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_11 days later..._

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They'd been to Paris, Versailles, Lyon, Toulouse, Marseille and now it was their final day in Nice, it was late at night and Merlin and Arthur had dressed in their night clothes and were lying in bed, trying to sleep...but they couldn't.

Something in the air, tension and not just any tension, sexual tension. That made Merlin blush from her head to her toes. Even if she was to do something about it, she had no idea how to do it, as a virgin her sexual knowledge was limited to all that she learned whilst she was attending school. How was she meant to...start it? They were together now...they would end up doing it...so why not now?

"Arthur?"

"Yes." he replied, awake from the same reason Merlin was, but either knew they were both thinking and feeling the same. Instead of speaking again, Merlin rolled over until she was on top of Arthur and straddling him. "Merlin, what?" Merlin silenced him by placing her lips on his as a start of a passion filled kiss.

Since Arthur wore nothing but boxer shorts when he was sleeping, Merlin had no need to strip him of his clothing...well, not yet, but Merlin was wearing a vest top and a pair of shorts, if she starting to undress herself maybe Arthur would get the hint.

She pulled away from the kiss and pulled her vest top over her head, throwing it on the floor. Arthur's eyes widened as he knew what Merlin was trying to do and Merlin chuckled as she pushed off him for a few seconds so she was able to pull down her shorts and toss them next to her vest top before climbing back on top of Arthur and kissing him again.

"Merlin..." he moaned when their kiss broke. "Merlin, do you?"

"I want this Arthur, I really do."

"But you're-"

"Yes Arthur, I know, a virgin, does that bother you?"

"Not at all." he said and unhooked her bra and it joined the rest of the clothing on the floor. Her pale breasts and pink nipples drew Arthur in, he cupped them making Merlin gasp as the different temperatures and the feel of someone's hands on one of her most sensitive areas.

Arthur spun them around so that Merlin was lying underneath him and he pulled off her knickers quickly. He noted she was only and not shaven before kissing her stomach, just under her breasts and she sighed at the feeling.

"I take it you know the first time hurts?" Arthur said, mouth still at her stomach but his eyes fixed on her flushed face and glazed eyes.

"Yes." she panted.

"I'll be gentle." he said and kissed down her stomach and stopping at her womanhood and looked up her her grinning. It was at this point that Arthur decided to push the covers off of them and the bed and pull Merlin to the edge so that her legs hung over the edge and he was kneeling on the floor between them.

"Arthur, what are you? Ah!" she squealed as Arthur's tongue traced her lower lips, making her spasm in pleasure, having never felt someone so good. His tongue travelled deeper and as soon as he pulled away she groaned and he chuckled.

He took off his boxer shorts and stood up, allowing Merlin to see his huge erection which both scared and aroused her, she was going to be in a lot of pain her first time, but it was with Arthur. He stroked his erection a few times before lining himself up against Merlin.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." she panted and Arthur nodded pushing into her and Merlin moaned until Arthur hit her hymen and she clenched up. "Merlin?"

"Fine, fine." she said and encouraged Arthur to continue by wrapping her legs around his hips and pulling him forward slightly, before long her virginity had been taken, pain was blossoming from her womanhood and tears threatened to spill from her closed eyes. But when butterfly kisses were placed across her face, the pain seemed to almost disappear.

"I love you Merlin." he smiled, giving her a chaste kiss.

"I love you too." she said, opening her eyes. "You can move now." he grinned and started short thrusts before building up speed and it didn't take long for the two of them to be moaning, panting and grabbing for each others bodies and Merlin quickly reached her peak with Arthur just behind and the two of them ended up in a slightly sweating bundle of limbs.

"Wow." was all Merlin could say and they both burst into laughter.

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It had taken them three weeks to explore Italy before they finally reached the villa that Arthur had brought for Merlin and Arthur to spend the rest of their lives together in.

There were loads of rooms and spare rooms, a swimming pool inside and one outside, a sauna and many other rooms that weren't even in use.

The best thing about the house, for Merlin, was that it was right by the beach and had a beautiful scenery, this part of the beach, Merlin had learned, Arthur had brought and now owned.

"Arthur, this place is beautiful."

"The perfect place to spend the rest of our lives." Arthur said and got down on one deal and Merlin's heart fluttered.

"Arthur-"

"Merlin, I love you, would you do me the honour of becoming my wife." Merlin couldn't stop the tears that fell and ran small rivers down her face.

"Yes, yes." she repeated and she and Arthur shared a hug and a kiss on the beach that now belonged to them and they marked the start of their life.

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**A.N/ **I skipped where they visited places in France and in Italy because otherwise this story would just expand and go on forever, this story already has more chapters then I planned! The next chapter will be the epilogue! I hope you've enjoyed the story!


	14. Epilogue

**Title: **Insanity

**Author: **RomaMarufixx

**Rating: **K+

**Pairing: **Fem!Merlin/Arthur

**Summary: **Story based on one of the themes from my 100 Themes Challenge Merlin, Theme 12 - Insanity.

**Word count: **276

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, it is all the BBC's

* * *

_"Dr. Arthur Pendragon had been working at his current mental hospital for nearly a year when they had brought in a young girl, no older than eighteen. He had been assigned to her and after a while he soon found himself falling into insanity, insane for her love." _

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**Part Fourteen;**

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**The Epilogue; **

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Fifteen years ago, Merlin and Arthur had escaped from their lives in England and moved to Italy, married and started a family, everything was perfect in their lives, perfect home, perfect partner and perfect children.

Not long after their wedding Merlin had found out she was pregnant which had resulted in the birth of their oldest son and child Alexander, who'd just turned fourteen.

The difficult part of raising a child in a different country was that they had to adjust to a different schooling system and Merlin had to learn Italian, which had taken her almost three years, different languages were never her strong point.

Merlin and Arthur had their first daughter and their second child Dahlia, four years after Alexander and was now ten.

They didn't think they were going to have any more children but after Merlin's surprise pregnancy with her second son, Balinor, two years later, they decided they wanted more than three children, and with the huge house and the plenty of money they had they could afford to have as many children as they wanted to.

After Balinor, they had Harry, who is five, Michelle, three and Michael who had recently turned one and Merlin and Arthur agreed Michael would be their last child, six was plenty.

Once, just over five years ago they had a scare when police can looking for them in their part of town but thanks to several friends they had made whilst living in Italy, they hadn't found them, their children or their house.

They'd had fifteen years of paradise and planned on having many more.

They were happy, a happy insane couple.

The End.

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**A.N/ **And it is finished, finally! Just a short epilogue to end things off, I hope you have enjoyed the story! Thank you!


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